Characteristics of a Role Model

Knowing the future of our existence looks up to you is a beautiful thing, but this very thing is robbed of its beauty when perfectionism is put into play. Absolutely no one is perfect, so placing someone of a certain ranking on a pedestal and highlighting their every move only confines the person into a box of YOUR expectations.

Take for example, Malia Obama, 18- A number of remarks were made because she was recently recorded and photographed at an event being a normal teenager and having fun with her friends. Many adults took to social media to express their disappointment in her behavior and do not want their children looking up to her.

My thing is, if your child is so weak minded that he or she would copy every single thing another person does, who they do not know or have ever met, don’t you think something is wrong with the way you raised your child or the way in which your child thinks? I understand that young children like to copy super heroes and princesses but they will grow out of this stage, as a child never likes one thing for too long once they discover something else.

Why aren’t YOU your child’s role model? Why are you placing that responsibility on someone else? Why does a role model almost always have to be a famous person? Have you ever stopped to think that people do what makes them happy and not what you hope they’ll do while you watch them through the media? Why were strangers recording and videoing a person they don’t know and have never met? Oh, because she’s the President’s daughter, right? Because she’s in the eye of the media she’s supposed to act perfect only to be ridiculed by you for doing something YOU don’t approve of, right?

What were you doing at her age? Why don’t you lead a life that your children will aspire towards? Don’t get me wrong here, having a role model is fine, but perfectionism is not what most people try to portray as they go about their daily lives, so why force it on them? I didn’t have a role model when I was a child and I turned out quite fine. Save your judgement and blame your child’s ill behavior on the root of the issue.

Instill a positive mindset into your child and he or she will keep that mindset forever. Even though children do not always grow up ¬†reflecting the way they were raised, which could play out good or bad, let’s not be so quick to judge based on what we see through the media which is controlled by someone else.

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Breast Is Best

As a mother, you will learn that the number one way to give your child proper nourishment is by breast feeding. The skin to skin bonding process while feeding the life you brought into this world is incomparable. By maintaining a healthy diet, you create a tummy full of nutrients packed with powerful immune system enhancing mechanisms that help your little bundle of joy grow health and strong. And yet, in today’s society, breastfeeding has become so sexualized that women who do so in public are shunned.

A very young baby cannot speak, hence you cannot tell the child to “wait” for you to find somewhere appropriate to feed him or her. Sticking a boob in a baby’s mouth is one of the fastest ways to stop a baby from fussing or crying and no one likes a grumpy, crying baby. So then, tell me why in different parts of the world are women being asked by strangers to “move” or “leave” areas as simple as a park bench for breastfeeding their child?

Were you not breastfed as a child? Who are you to look down on women who breastfeed their children in public? How is it bothering you? Would you like some milk? Women have been oversexualized so much over the years that taking a breast out in public is a cry for attention and showing little to no self pride. Discriminating against a mother who is only trying to take care of her child by providing one of the most basics needs, food, should in no way, shape or form be an issue.

A child walking past a woman breastfeeding her baby will only think of it as such, so why then do you, a grown man think its immoral? There are many lessons to be learned from or children.

Back To My Roots

I had processed/permed hair for about 6 years before I got bored and decided to chop it all off. First to my shoulders, then into a mohawk to finally transitioning from permed to natural. As my hair grew out I’d clip the processed ends off until all my hair was completely natural. I must say I missed my natural hair so much and love watching it grow now. Many women have decided to stop perming their hair and did a big chop to grow their natural hair back from scratch. I’m all for helping my sisters, so here are some tips and tricks I learned from experience in case you need help!

1. Just Do It!

If your hair is damaged or if you’re tired of getting burned by hair creme don’t be afraid to cut your hair. Keeping damaged ends will only prolong the damage and make your hair weaker.

2. You Don’t Have To Do The Big Chop, You Can Transition

Sometimes, the big chop isn’t the right move. Women have done it and regretted it. If you don’t think you’ll feel comfortable being bald then feel free to let your hair grow out and gradually get your ends trimmed.

3. Contrary To Popular Belief, Maintaining Natural Hair Is Expensive

Girl, I thought having natural hair meant going to the hair salon less and spending less money! You better save that salon money to buy your products! Not all brands are expensive, but you’ll need to buy a lot of different products to help your hair healthy. My favorite brand that I swear by is Creme of Nature with Argan Oil from Morocco. There products smell amazing and make my hair feel the same. Very cost efficient and each set lasts for a good three months or so, depending on how often you use them.

4. Protective Styles Are Your New Bestfriends!

Its best not to constantly touch your hair, give it space and let it breath. I love doing twist outs and getting braids, keeping them for three weeks and them pulling them out to give my hair a break for a week or too. This way I don’t always have to worry about combing it.

5. Deep Condition Into Oblivion

I absolutely love deep conditioning my hair! I probably do it a little too much, lol! Deep conditioning your hair is a great way to treat it and allow it to retain some moisture after stripping it with shampoo. If your girlfriend doesn’t run out of conditioner before shampoo, she ain’t doing something right.

6. Keep Your Hair Moisturized 

Major key, moisture. It may not look dry to you but when the sun hits it, giirrrlll. Always, always, always moisturize your hair. Don’t question me, just do it! Light weight products are the best to use because they don’t weigh down your hair and aren’t too thick to cause dirt and dust particles to get stuck in it

7. You Still Need To Trim Your Ends

Just because your hair isn’t bone straight, doesn’t mean it can’t break. You still need to get your ends clipped every couple of months to retain length and get rid of any damage, especially if you’re still using heat on your hair.

8. Things Take Time

Do not rush the process, everyone is different and hair grows only half an inch a month. Don’t over use products and stress yourself, and in turn your hair because you don’t think its growing fast enough. This is about having natural, healthy hair. Drinking a lot of water, exercising, using natural oils that stimulate hair growth, and eating greener foods and salmon is said to help boost the speed at which hair grows, in case you were wondering.

I hope I educated a few of my sisters and if you know of any other tips and tricks, feel free to comment below and help another sister out.